Step to finding your perfect man

Know Yourself
1. Finding your perfect man requires knowing what you want. Before you can marry your soulmate, you have to be able to recognize him. Write down the qualities that you need in a man, that you would like him to have, and that would be definite deal breakers. Just dont treat the list as law. A guy doesnt have to cross off every single item on your checklist. Its just a way to narrow down your options. .....
Look around
2. You might have met your soulmate without realizing it. Before you go on the lookout for him, see if hes someone you already know. Your best guy friend, your neighbor, or your co-worker are all potential mates. Mr. Right couldve been right there the whole time. Ask yourself if the men surrounding you are just buddies, or if they could be more. .....
Chat Away
3. You cant marry him if youre too terrified to talk to him. You need to channel your bravery and start chatting. When you get too embarrassed, all you have to do is walk away. If youre too shy to start up a conversation, at least look approachable. Take out your earbuds and stop crossing your arms. You want to look inviting. .....
Get Out There
4. Take a look at your list and see if your desired qualities revolve around the same topic. If you want a man who is creative, passionate, and musically talented, go to local concerts. If you want someone who is athletic, muscular, and energetic, make a stop at the gym. Youll meet plenty of people with the traits that youre looking for. All you have to do is go to the places where your dream man would go. Its that simple. .....
Serial Date
5. Dont turn down too many dates. Even if he doesnt fit your list, you should give him at least one chance. Theres no harm in it. Youd be surprised at how drastically your opinion of someone can change after one dinner. He might even make you change your list completely. .....
Ask around
6. Blind dates dont always end horribly. Some of your friends know you better than you know yourself. If they claim that their cousin in the perfect fit for you, it might be true. Some people are born matchmakers. It doesnt hurt to give him a chance. You could end up falling madly in love. .....
Dont Waste
7. If you know that a guy isnt right for you, dont date him. If youre both looking for a little fun, you can have a fling. However, if youre looking for a lifelong commitment, theres no need to waste time. If youre with the wrong guy, you could miss your chance with the right guy. You want to be single when he comes along. Itll make life much easier. .....
Change the rules
8. Commit to a schedule of actions based on your new rules, and report to a trusted friend each time you triumph over old patterns even if its minor. .....
Stop being a negative nancy
9. Before you leave the house, stand before the mirror, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself you will find someone who inspires, excites and challenges you. .....
Work your body
10. Make a habit of checking in with your body and tone of voice during different interactions, to become attuned to your automatic setting, and consciously work to change any negative settings. .....
Dance like no ones watching
11. Book into a dance class and don?t invite a friend. Going alone will push you to engage with other people you never know who you might meet. Cooking classes are also good for meeting potential partners. .....
Fire the shy factor
12. To ensure fear doesnt turn you into an excuse factory for staying home, lock yourself in to two singles events a month. If you think you ll pike, enlist a plus one to keep you accountable. .....
Three strikes til hes out
13. Even if you find fault with Mr Movies, hold your judgment until after date three. If you are not impressed then, you may move on. .....
Dress to impress
14. Invest a Saturday afternoon (when you havent got a date) in mixing and matching your wardrobe inventory and earmark three outfits that make you feel, and look, your sexy, confident best. When you do have a date, the effort will show. (And avoid track pants in public!) .....
Spend time with the people who make you happy
15. As the saying goes, you are coloured by the company you keep, so spend time with those you bring out the best in you and youll put your best foot forward in the dating zone. .....
Do a double take
16. Take another look at the one who always makes your double shot with soy, or reimagine your dry cleaner sometimes what you are looking for is right under your nose. .....
Flash your pearlies
17. Wear your smile into every interaction; it goes miles towards a great first impression. .....
Believe it
18. Visualise yourself in the type of relationship you want and focus on what everyday life looks like there. Believing is half the battle believe that. .....
Understand yourself
19. Know your own real needs and distinguish them from other people's expectations. Be honest with yourself about your faults, you need to meet someone who will find your faults minor and forgivable but prize your strengths. Sometimes they are the same thing - a determined go-getter can be described as stubborn by someone who doesn't like her. .....
Dont expect perfection
20. If you find it, all the better. But, admit it; you're not perfect. No one is. If you're looking for a 100% perfect man, you will never find him. So be quick to forgive those little mistakes or annoying habits that don't matter, and hopefully he will overlook your imperfections too. Understand what types of annoying habits rile you so much they're a deal-breaker and be up front about those, as well as those you don't think of as a big deal .....
Be happy being alone
21. If you want to be ready to find the man of your dreams, then you have to be content with your own company before you begin your search. Forget the myth of finding the man who completes you or makes you whole; you should already feel like a fulfilled, well-rounded being, whose life will be improved by the presence of the right man .....
Love yourself
22. This is another important point. If you want to be able to find the man of your dreams, you have to love who you are. This doesn't mean that you have to completely love every part of yourself, but that you are confident in who you are and happy with what you have to offer. Being aware of your flaws is part of loving yourself, and it will make you a much more grounded person in a relationship .....
Get some experience
23. you'll need to get some experience before you can find "the one" and know what you want. Though if Mr. Right walks right into your arms when you're barely out of high school or college, you shouldn't let him get away, most likely, you'll have to wade through more than a few duds to find the diamond. Dating various men will help you get a better sense of your dating style, and of your real expectations in a relationship. .....
Define the qualities of your dream man
24. Though you may never know exactly who the man of your dreams may be until you see him from across the room and feel like you've had the wind knocked out of you, you should definitely have a strong sense of the kind of man you're looking for as you go about your search. The qualities you want shouldn't read like a check-list that has to be completed for you to find the right guy, but you should strongly consider which qualities are a must-have for you to pursue the "perfect" relationship .....
The persons relationship style
25. This is an ever-important and underrated point to consider. If you are the kind of person who needs attention 24/7, then you'll need to find a man with similar needs; if you want to find love but need time to hang out with your own friends and do your own thing, then it's important that you see eye-to-eye with your man on this too. .....
The person s interests
26. Is it essential that your perfect man loves books, hiking, running, painting, tennis, or volunteering as much as you do? If you feel like your key interests must be shared by your loved one, then look for a guy who shares these interests or is at least enthusiastic about learning about them. .....
Personality traits
27. Though you cant say what makes the perfect personality for you, there are a few traits that you can look out for. Do you love to make people laugh and need a guy who shares your quirky sense of humor? Are you the sensitive type and need someone who understands your emotions? Great. If you can't live without these qualities in a man, don't force it. .....
Social stance
28. Are you the shy type, and need someone who brings you out of your shell? Are you outgoing and looking for someone to rein you in a bit, or do you want someone with a similar social bearing so you're understood? Sometimes opposites attract in this category , but you should find your social counterpart, whatever that may be. .....
His ability to get with your friends and family
29. Do you need a guy who fits right in with your friends and family, or is this something you can take or leave? If you spend most of your free time with your friends and family and needs someone who can join right in, then this should be something you should look out for .....
Religion
30. If you're Jewish and need someone who shares your religion, or who is open to converting, then you can narrow down your search from the start .....
Family values
31. If you're certain that you want to have two or more kids but meet a man who says he hates children, you shouldn't try to work it out and try to change him this will be much harder than you think. .....
Define your deal breakers
32. The qualities you don't want can be just as important as the ones you need. If there are a few deal breakers that will mean you can't make a relationship work, no matter how hard you try, then it's better to know what they are up front than to try to stick it out before failing. These qualities have to do with your priorities and what you are not willing to put up with no matter what there's no shame in admitting what they are .....
If you are missing that physical feeling
33. However, you may convince yourself that physical attraction can grow over time; this may not happen for you. If your dream man seems perfect but you just can't work yourself up to have the hots for him then Houston, you have a problem. .....
Disagreement over something that matters to you
34. If you're obsessed with Mitt Romney and your man is a tree-hugging liberal, then you can either enjoy having the constant disagreement, or realize that this disagreement over core values just won't work for you in the end. .....
Geographical incompatibility
35. If you're an actress who has to live in LA, and he's determined to live in Missouri near his family, or to even live abroad, then you may never be able to make it work if this is something you absolutely refuse to compromise on. .....
Get ready to compromise about some things
36. Though you should stand your ground on the things that really matter to you, and be on the alert for any red flags that tell you that the relationship won't work, you should have an open mind when you start a new relationship, even if your "have" and "have not" list is firmly ingrained in your mind. When you meet the right man, you may find that you didn't even know exactly what you were looking for .....
Know where to look
37. Knowing what you are looking for is half the battle; the other half is knowing where to look. If you know what your dream man should be like but spend all of your time at home or in the wrong bars, then you'll never get to meet him. The most important thing is to be open to love no matter where you go, because ultimately, no one can predict where you'll find the man of your dreams. However, knowing where to look can greatly improve your chances of meeting him .....
Be the person you want to marry
38. What kind of person are you attracted to? What kinds of traits does he have to have? To attract the kind of person you like, you have to have those traits too. Also look at traits that are complementary - if you're very domestic, you may be happier with a man who doesn't putter in your kitchen but never gripes about mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters .....
Be an interesting person
39. Find a hobby or two that makes you stand out. Whether you like to play sports, paint, play a musical instrument, or go clubbing at night, surrounding yourself with people of your same interests will increase your chances of meeting the man of your dreams while having fun at the same time. Don't think you have any hobbies? Try something creative, you may have unexpected talents and discover it's fun. Go out and volunteer in your community .....
Make a good first impression
40. Though the guy will get to know you as time goes on, you should start off on the right foot. Make an effort to look nice while staying in your comfort zone when you know you'll have a chance to meet men. Even if you're having a bad day or didn't really feel like going out, you should always be ready with a smile and a joke, because you never know when you'll find the man of your dreams .....
Avoid being codependent
41. A codependent relationship brings out the worst in both partners and shatters lives. If you grew up in a codependent environment, seek counseling and learn to overcome codependent habits before getting serious about any romantic relationship. You're better off taking your time than enduring the emotional and possibly physical abuse of codependence. That's what it leads to - abuse. .....
Be real
42. Don't try to be someone you're not, or you may get typecast in a narrow role that doesn't include all that you are. If you're normally casual and dress to the nines whenever you meet him, he may reasonably expect you to dress like that all the time and be disappointed once you're together. If you pretend you don't like books and hook up with him, you may wind up spending the rest of your life having an argument every time you want to order from Amazon. .....
Dont come on too strong
43. This is a key point to staying with the man of your dreams. If you love him instantly, great, but don't blurt it out unless you're sure you've had the most magical chemistry from the start. If you can see him as your husband, the father of your kids, perfect, but don't mention it on your third or your tenth date. Let things run their course before you both feel serious enough about each other to talk about the future. .....
Dont lose him for lack of affection
44. Though coming on too strong can be a problem, so can the opposite problem -- not letting the man know how much he means to you. If you've been together for a while and you haven't told him how much he means to you or gone out of your way to complement him, then you may be closer to losing him than you think. Though men don't generally like to be smothered with love and affection, they do like to be told that they're doing something right .....
Make sure youre compatible
45. This is crucial for the survival of any serious relationship. Your man may look great on paper, but you should also be compatible when you're together. This means laughing easily, having great conversations without hardly ever running out of things to talk about, seeing eye-to-eye on the small things, and being able to get through a day -- or a week, or a month! together without fighting every two seconds. .....
Be patient
46. Give it time, woman. Don't rush to the altar after six months of bliss. If you really want to make it last, then you have to have the patience to go through months, or years, of a good relationship, before trying to force marriage, children, or any serious choices onto your man. For the first year, at least, just enjoy your time together and work on developing a strong bond before trying to leap to the next step. .....
Share the same long term goals
47. If both of you want to focus on your careers for the foreseeable future, then great. If you're both ready for the marriage and kids thing, awesome. And if you're okay with living right where you are for the rest of your lives, even better. Unfortunately, it's not often that you can be so in sync with your partner. If you are, then great. But if not, you should make sure that you share as many long-term goals as possible .....
Expect a human being
48. not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don?t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don?t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn?t have to be Mr. Hunk either. .....
Look in places where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value
49. If you want someone who cares, look at the local soup kitchen and see who is volunteering on Saturday afternoons. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who shares his Pepsi with you without your asking? Who gives you the seat on the bus? Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who works Sundays at the homeless shelter? Who volunteers at the Children?s Hospital as a clown? .....
Consider blind dates
50. Just use the same common sense you would use in dating anyone for the first time. Or ask your friends to invite you and the person they want you to meet to their home for dinner or to a party first. Get to know each other in a group setting, and let nature take its course. Go to public places. Go to coffee after church. Make it light. A blind date is just a beginning. It does not have to be dinner and roses. .....
Be open to matchmaker services and the Internet
51. Is it safe to look there for someone? It depends. Personal ads have been around for years, and the Internet Web pages are just an extension of them. It used to be that only the "desperate and dateless" used personal ads, but now it is commonplace for almost anyone to take advantage of Web pages for matchmaking. You will find categories and types of listings you never thought existed. It seems that everyone is online now, and access can be overwhelming. Some couples have been successful in establishing satisfying relationships with the Web. Others have run into problems all the way from being deceived, to being murdered. Millions of people are online every day and you must be aware that like anywhere else, you will meet all types. Using common sense, and seeking reputable services with good references are the basics when going online. Certainly, never agree to meet someone without proper precautions such as meeting in a public place, and having a friend with you or nearby or who knows where you are going and with whom. .....
Talk to your family and friends about the kind of man you want
52. Who better knows you and the things you need? Ask them for tips on the type of guy they think you need, and dont be insulted when they tell you the truth. They probably know you better than you know yourself. Their feedback could be invaluable. .....
Rise above past mistakes
53. You are not doomed to an endless series of losers. You are half way to Mr. RIGHT by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. You cannot correct something you did not realize was stupid. Congratulations! You are starting to develop humility, which is a good trait. Just don?t let it turn into self-pity and low self esteem. We all fail and make mistakes. We all have things we remember with regret. Unlike us, God is very forgiving when we repent, turn around and are willing to let Him change us. .....
Know what you are looking for in a man
54. some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Ask yourself, Why do I want this relationship? To lose myself? To find myself?? To make up for what I lost in childhood? To keep me so excited I cant be depressed? To boost my sagging self esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better? .....
Evaluate your physical attractiveness
55. Not everyone is Ms. America. Nobody looks like the models in magazines. We each have something going for us though. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Do not try to be a size 6 if you are really a size 12. Accept yourself for who you are, but don?t use that as an excuse to let yourself go either. Some men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor and find out what is healthy for a woman your size. Rather than living up to some super-model or stereotype of femininity you should aim to be all you can. Men want to be proud of their wife?s appearance, not embarrassed. Work with what you have: get a makeover; ask a personal shopper at the department store to help you revamp your look. You don?t need to spend a fortune, simply plan wisely with a few sharp pieces. Small changes can make a world of difference in your looks as well as your outlook. .....
Get a life
56. The most important thing is to be Ms. Right yourself. Finding the right man is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centered, finding a generous hard working fellow is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging man is not going to change who you are. Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring, and unselfish. .....
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