Respect your husband
. Notice how it doesnt say Respect your husband if he has earned it. A mans greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife. The trap that weve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want ourhusbandsto make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being.
A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me when respect is given even when he doesnt deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesnt mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they arent. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
Guard your heart
. The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you dont have the best of the best, but its simply not true.
Live the life youve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough. There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier but youll never be satisfied with more until youre fulfilled with what you have now.
God husband kids in that order
. I know this isnt a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. Its no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless youre married to someone who is abusive (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my opinion can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. Thats not what this means.
When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to take off. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you cant breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit for everything from major mistakes to littleannoyances(every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on thebathroomcounter ;)) you will keep resentment from growing.
. I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard You should know why Im mad game, and thats just downright unfair.Menare not wired like women, and they DONT always know that theyve been insensitive. Im still growing in this area, and there are oftentimeswhen my husband has to pry something out of me, but Im trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
Schedule a regular date night
. This one isnt new, but its very important. Never stop datingyour spouse. Even if you cant afforddinner and a movie(which we seldom can), spending someregularone on one time withyour spouseis essential. Dont talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Me and my husband often daydream about our future, or plan ourdream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other even after years of marriage.
Never say theD Word
. If youre gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce or separation is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. Im not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
Learn his love language
. Everyone has alovelanguage. The way you perceiveloveis often different from the wayyour spouseperceiveslove. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever hislovelanguage is learn it and USE IT.
Never talk negatively about him
. I learned this lesson the hard way too. If youre going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counsellor. Family counselling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one sided and they often build up negative feelings towardyour spouse, which usually doesnt subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that youre close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective. News flash, ladies your mother cannot be objective!
Choose to love
. There aretimesin a marriage that you may wake up and not feel inloveanymore. Choose toloveanyway. There aretimeswhen you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose toloveanyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in goodtimesand in bad. Those vows are sacred. They dont say if you have badtimes. They say in goodtimesAND in bad, implying that there WILL be badtimes. Its inevitable. So choose toloveanyway. Hes worth it.
If your goal is to have a satisfying marriage with longevity
. denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connectwith your partner in a mature, intimate way.
Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin
. Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high fives or even fist bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!
Learn how to agree to disagree
. No two people agree on everything, and thats okay, but its important to be okay with each others differences.
Sometimes its not about the amount of money you spend on a gift
. its about the thought that goes into something.Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what youloveand appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.
For men its important to understand that women want to be listened to
. Men dont need to solve or fix everything; listening itself is an exceptional gift. For women, its important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.
The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse
. since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself. When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that who you are is not enough. Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.
. boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure. Throw at it every possible remedy youve got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.
Next time you argue with your partner
. drop the shaming, blaming, needing to be right, and really listen without interrupting.Then communicate how you feel, using I statements. Its not your partners job to read your mind, guess what youre thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship.
In order to strengthen your marriage
. learn to recognize that most arguments have shared responsibility, that both people have valid points and valid reasons for their feelings.
Fair is not a four letter word
. You may have forgotten about fairness, but nows the time to bring it back into your relationship. Are you both being fair when it comes to divvying up chores, communicating your needs, expressing dissatisfaction, dealing with finances, parenting, and supporting one another? If not, how can you improve and bring fairness back to the relationship?
Nothing is more important in a marriage than the relationship between husband and wife
. When other things become more important, such as careers, children, and personal pursuits, trouble sets in. Make the relationship your top priority. When you do, the marriage flourishes.
Are you creating more pleasurable interactions in your marriage or are you making it painful or unpleasant for your spouse
. If your spouse treats you with kindness, gentleness, patience and self control, its easy for you to respond kindly. If you are treated badly, with anger, impatience, etc., its difficult to be nice in return. Focus on how you can be a blessing to your spouse and, in turn, you will be blessed and so will your marriage.
Never begin a sentence with the word you
. Instead start with the word I and then share your feelings instead of your thoughts. This is not as easy as it sounds because we all disguise a lot of thoughts as feelings, as in I feel like you are avoiding me. Genuine feelings are sad, angry, happy, lonely, frustrated, etc ... and sharing your core feelings creates better communication, and more connection and compassion.
Change your focus
. . Change your focus to one of learning to appreciate your partner
Let go of criticism and blame
. Focus on what there is to appreciate about your mate, then honestly and spontaneously express your specific appreciation to them. Its also good to do this for yourself.
Never lose the fine art of dating
. Setting aside a romantic evening on a regular basis can rekindle the magic of a long term relationship. It doesnt have to be fancy, just special time for the two of you to remember how and why you first fell in love.
Have regular times even if its just for 15 minutes
. to check in on your relationship and what you appreciate about each other.No talk about kids, schedules, etc. allowed
Love your marriage by first taking care of yourself
. So many of my patients say the reason their marriage fell apart is that they became depressed and disinterested in their partner. If you keep working on you, your marriage will stay fresh and vital. Start today by adding a new wedding vow to your list: Promise to take care of yourself so you will continue to age with grace and confidence by your partners side.
Recognize that your husband or wife is mirroring back to you who you are
. So take whatever youre upset with him/her about and use it to help yourself look squarely at what you need to do in order to grow and evolvethe relationship will thrive!
Take time to have some fun together every day
. With todays hectic schedules, its easy to find your marriage at the bottom of the priority list. Take a walk and hold hands (nature calms), couple cook (food fight!), exercise together (tennis or dancing maybe?) or just collect a Daily Joke to share. It doesnt have to be expensive, but if you make the commitment and effort to laugh together as often as possible, it can sweeten your connection and cement your relationship for life.
Before you get mad or assign blame take a breath and ask your partner for his or her perspective
. For instance, its your spouses job to walk the dog in the morning, but you discover dog poop on the kitchen floor and cleaning it up makes you late for work. Instead of immediately placing blame, saying something like, Im puzzled about what happened with Spot this morning, is a gentle way to start a conversation.
Make a list of three of the happiest moments in your marriage
. Spend a few minutes each day briefly reliving those moments in your mind. The results will amaze you.
You can change your relationship for the better by increasing the use of the following statements
. I love you, Im here for you, I understand, Im sorry, Thank you, I really appreciate all that you do, Its so nice to see you, That was quite an accomplishment!
Appreciate your partner at least five times each day
. Appreciate them from your heart about who they are at their essence. Leave gratitude in love notes, hide them so they will find them, or look deeply into their eyes and tell them. Be creative!
In order to keep the spark alive and avoid roommate syndrome
. couples have to understand the notion of spending time together versus creating sacred time together. Spending time at social events, time with family and doing chores together does not count as sacred time. Instead, carve out special time to not only be intimate, but also ensure that you continue to share new experiences together such as hiking, exploring someplace new, or arranging a stay cation in your own city.
Compliment your spouse everyday
. A compliment is a sign of acknowledgment and appreciation. Make an effort to affirm your spouses value in life, and in love.
Create a clear vision of your shared future together
. Sit down, listen to each other and write out how you want your future as a couple to look. Its much easier to create your best relationship together if both peoples needs are voiced, heard and supported by their partner.
Censor every impulse to blame or criticize your partner
. Do everything you can to support your partners well being, and respect your partner as you would your best friend
You need to date your mate
. Date night is sacred and special and should be on the same day of the week every week. One week the wife should suggest the date idea and the husband should come up with the date night plan for the opposite week. This encourages both the husband and wife to be invested in date night.
Communication and time together are the keys to strengthening your marriage
. Impossible to imagine one without the other
One of the most important factors in a good marriage is respect
. Respect each other, avoid verbal abuse, and keep insults to yourself. Bad words are just like squeezing toothpaste out of its tube once it is out you can never get it back in again.
Set aside 10 minutes a day to talk to your partner
. Ask what her favorite movie is and why, ask him to recall a happy memory from childhood, ask her what shed like to be remembered for, ask him to name the three worst songs of all time. Do it at dinner, before bed, or anytimeas long as you do it for 10 minutes every day. This simple change infuses relationships with new life
You can have control or you can have connection with your partner
. but you cant have both.Pursue connection!
Every week if possible go out on a date just like you did before you were married
. Select an activity where the two of you can interact, talk, and just be together enjoying each others company (not a movie!). End your date in the bedroom.
Couples often lose each other because of their busy lives
. Ahealthy marriage is one that has a mix of individual, family, and couple time. The amount of each may be different for each couple, but the mix is necessary to keep a functional marriage.
Our brains are the only organ in the human body which do not self regulate
. but need to be in connection with another brain for healing.Sit face to face and gaze into your lovers eyes in order to allow the limbic system to relax. This will bring you closer and create the deepest sort ofintimacy.
When you first see each other at the end of your respective days
. before you do anything else, hold each other without speaking for at least 60 seconds.By doing so you remind each others old/reptilian brains that you are a source of pleasure and comfort. Its simple, its easy to do, and it will make a world of difference.
Preface important communication with a simple yet effective introduction
. Try: Honey, Im confused about your response to my plans for a weekend hunting trip with the guys. When would be a good time to talk further? My relationship coaching clients have found that prefacing their remarks encourages a better, more accommodating reaction from their partner.
On those ever important date nights remember to be a wife first and a critic second
. Every time you open your mouth to complain about something whether its the food, the service, the movie, the weather, whatever some part of your partner feels hes failing because you arent having a great time. Men are happiest when they can please their woman! Save the full critique for your girlfriends and in meantime, let him see the best in you.
. When it gets hard in a relationship, our tendency is to protect ourselves, to retreat, to lean out. Leaning out when your partner reaches out creates distance and dissonance. If instead you lean in to the uncomfortable feelings, to the unknown and your own vulnerability, and meet your partner, you can actually strengthen your relationship through the struggles you face together.
Accept your partner exactly as they are today
. Dont try to change him/her
When your partner tells you something that is bothering him
. When we mirror, this helps us not feel as defensive and allows us the opportunity to better understand what he is trying to communicate.
The best way to strengthen a marriage is to support and assist each other in being the best you can be
. A strong marriage is one in which both people understand that the other person needs to have outside interests and activities which help them to feel happy and fulfilled. A strong marriage is one where both people understand that it is more important to be happy than it is to be right.
Have you lost that loving feeling
. 1.Write down 10 qualities you loved about your partner when you first met and read it to each other.
2: Brainstorm a list of 10 fun things you did together when you first met; do one date per week and enjoy bringing back that loving feeling!
Youre entitled to the occasional bad mood
. Youre not entitled to make your partner the whipping boy.
A strong marriage is a partnership in trust
. Trust your partner in everything, including purchases and financial decisions, and to bring up things with you that need a joint decision. If you cant do that, the two of you have a problem.
Always remember that life is long
. In the heat of the moment, what feels super important will likely fade in importance as time goes by. Before you react by yelling, tossing insults or unkind words, remember that This, too, shall pass. In fact, recent studies have shown that even the most unhappiest of couples report being very happy five years later. So dont let one unfortunate incident, difficult argument or challenging moment destroy your lifetime ofhappiness.
A woman needs her partner to spend time giving her his full attention and looking directly into her eyes
. When she receives this, she can easily get in touch with her feelings of love for her husband and becomes much more receptive to his needs. This is how intimacy can be fulfilling for both people ... magical even!
Use character related words that honor your spouse for such qualities as patience helpfulness
. .Create regular opportunities for fun, laughter, and positive experiences. Figure out what communicates love to each other and do that. Be observant and thoughtful with little things and even do chores that the other dislikes. Consciously doing what opens and softens your spouses heart will benefit you both in the long run and keep your marriage happier.
Most Attractive People in Sports
Serge Ibaka Oklahoma City Thunder
. Considering Congo native Serge Ibaka was the third youngest of his parents 18 children, him being a very attractive and successful professional basketball player is all the more impressive. I feel like Id be so tired by the time I got to the 15th ki
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Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel
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. Many people misunderstood Patel. There was false propaganda that he did not like Muslims. On the 6th of January 1948, speaking in Lucknow, he said, There is a cry that I am against Muslims. But I am their true friend. I cannot beat about the bush. I
Benefits of Figs
A Sweet Way to Lose Weight
. Figs are a good source of dietary fiber. Fiber and fiberrich foods may have a positive effect on weight management. In one study, women who increased their fiber intake with supplements significantly decreased their energy intake, yet their hunger an
Places you cant Visit
Tomb of Qin Shi Huang China
. Home to wonders like the famous Terracotta Army, the tomb of Chinas first emperor remains largely unexcavated thanks to a very protective Chinese government.
Most Extraordinary Churches Of The World
The Green church Buenos Aires Argentina
. Bamboo leaves!?! I want to climb into this church and sit here all day. The only info I managed to find: a parish church in Buenos Aires, Argentina known as the Huerto de Olivos
Top Players in MLB History
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. Aristotle described a peculiar bloodless animal that emerged from near the Black Sea and perished just a day later. He named the creature the ephemeron, meaning oneday living. Today we have another name for this insect: the mayfly. The great philosop
Glow your skin
. Grate raw coconut and squeeze milk out of it. Apply on your face and arms. This helps in making your skin glow.
Daily Health Tips
No drugs cure high blood pressure
. All drugs against hypertension without exception, are toxic and have distressing side effects. The safest way to cure hypertension is to remove the real cause. The natural way of dealing with it is to eliminate the poisons from the system which cause
Benefits of Oregano
. Oregano oil in many specialty and health food shops for this very reason. Oregano contains thymol and carvacrol, two oils which have remarkable bacteria fighting power. In fact, researchers recently discovered that oregano is a better treatment for g
Precautions while using Overhead Projectors
Stand off to one side of the overhead projector while you face the audience
. Stand off to one side of the overhead projector while you face the audience Too many people stand between the overhead projector and the screen causing a shadow of the presenters body. Standing to one side will allow the audience to see you as the
. Before we start any project, it's a good practice to get together with the team and understand their family background and if anyone would like to share any of their personal issues. In the beginning, the leader of the team talks of himself and then
Rare Celebrity Pre Fame Shocking Photos
. Now that s a before and after photo if I ever saw one!
Benefits of Nutmeg
How to Prepare
. Whole nuts are preferable to ground nutmeg, as flavor deteriorates quickly. Whole nuts will keep indefinitely and can be grated as required with a nutmeg grater. Store both ground and whole nutmeg away from sunlight in airtight containers.
Benefits of Mangosteen
WHAT CAN MANGOSTEEN COMPOUNDS DO
. The xanthones and other antioxidants in mangosteen do provide a useful benefit. In the body, oxidation by peroxides and oxygen itself can create free radicals. These free radicals can then cause reactions that cause cellular damage. This kind of dama
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Largest Cruise Ship
. Theworld s largest cruise shipsover 100,000 gross tonnes, including ships that are in service, under construction, and out of service.
Nails Art Designs
Funky or two toned French nails
. Funky French is also known as two tone French. It looks very cool. Doing this nail paint designs is quite easy. Just do it as you do your normal French but using different colors.
Benefits of Bitter Gourd
Contains lots of calcium
. It also contains lots of calcium thats important for strong bones, and phosphorus for hormone regulation and the production of proteins in the body, magnesium for regulating blood sugar, and beta carotene which is a powerful antioxidant helping to pr
Portrait Photography tips for Beginners
Put three photos in a row
. I love shooting in continuous high mode when I photograph kids. Inevitably, they dump a bucket of sand on their head, trip, or do something funny. Take the three or four pictures and combine them into a little film strip in Photoshop to show the shor
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Dress Up Your Entryway
. Beautiful front door decorations, which can be as low key as swags of greenery, serve as a visual welcome whether adorning a building or a tent and ensure that everyone first glimpse of the party is from its best vantage point. Below, garland, topiar
The Best Selling Cars in the World
. Natural disasters hurt Japanese carmakers, but the Toyota Corolla remains the bestselling car in the world, with 1.02 million copies sold.
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Learn About the Successfully Self Employed
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. Grows spontaneously out of the crevices of the rocks in the South of France, flowers in our gardens in July and August, is a very hardy perennial, and in sheltered situations retains its leaves all the year.The singular manner in which the leaves are
Xmas Makeup Looks
. Black liner swept across the top lid makes a bold yet elegant statement that needs very little else: Think Angelina Jolie, who s hardly ever photographed without her signature eye look. The trick, says Ashunta Sheriff, a makeup artist who works with
Benefits of Curry Leaves
. Lack of energy can be caused by an iron deficiency.
What to Eat in Tamil Nadu
Ombol or Aumbol
. A sour dish made either with several vegetables or fish, especially fish bones. The souring agent is usually tamarind pulp, unripe mango and sometimes amla or amloki is used. Curd, though a souring agent occasionally used with nonvegetarian dishes, w
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. Libra ( Sep 23 - Oct 22 ) Libra in Love : There is no doubt that Libras enjoy being in love and the sexy, shimmery sheen which this blessed state can bring. Love is a beautiful affair for the Scales, and as one who admires beauty in themselves and o
Batsmen Who Slapped Most Sixes in ODI Cricket
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. The former Lankan great cricketer Jayasuriya is at No.2 with 270 sixes in 445 matches and 433 innings. Jayasuriya also slapped 1500 fours during his ODI career. He maintained a strike rate of 91 and average of 32.
How to Remove Dark Circles Tips
. Regular use of cold milk will also decrease the dark circles and also soothes your eyes and skin. Take a cotton ball and place it in a bowl of cold milk or iced water for a while. Now apply the cotton ball making sure that it covers the entire eye wi
. Napoleon? Short dude with a complex that they eventually named after him, tried to take over Europe, etc. Well, he wasnt actually short. Napoleon was 57?, which was normal for the average Frenchman in his time. His childhood was a pitiful onehis fath
Most Creative Beds
Never ending bed
. A unique combination of a bed, a sofa and even a wall, this bizarre bed design is one of the most creative we have seen.
. This is an extremely rare tree, endemic to Hawaii. It was discovered in 1860, at which time only three specimens could be found. The tree proved difficult to propagate, and by 1950, after the last seedling died, it was deemed extinct. In 1970 a sole
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Extremely Beautiful Minerals And Stones 13
. Watermelon Tourmaline
Benefits of Figs
Potential Health Benefits
. Figs contain a type of antioxidant called phenols, which may lower your risk for heart disease and cancer by preventing cell damage by dangerous free radicals. Fiber lowers your risk for high cholesterol, heart disease and constipation. The fiber in
Benefits of Cauliflower
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LARGO DE PELOURINHO
. Listed as UNESCOs World Heritage, the street is located in the heart of the oldest part of the city of Salvador, Bahia. It is believed that the steep paths of the city were once the center for slave auction. The city itself offers a vivid mixture of
How To Increase Blood In Body
. A refreshing summer fruit, the watermelon is 90 percent water but is rich in many nutrients, including iron! It also has high vitamin C levels, which help the body absorb iron more quickly and efficiently.
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Microfiber Couch Miracle
. There s nothing grosser than a couch that looks like you pulled it out of the alley. Use a spray bottle to cover your couch with rubbing alcohol, then use a clean white sponge to rub the couch. Fluff the fibers with a hard bristle brush when done, an
Rules to play Ildado
The Ranking of Poker Hands
. Straight Flush is the best natural hand. A straight flush consists of five cards in sequence and of the same suit. An Ace high straight flush is called a Royal Straight Flush or Royal Flush and is the highest natural hand.
. Shiva Chalisa is a prayer for Lord Shiva - one of the Gods of Hindu trinity, the other two being Brahma and Vishnu. Shiva Chalisa praises the Lord and asks for his help in removing hardships and obstacles in devotee?s life. It is said that devotees s